I felt abandoned by God
I felt abandoned by God
Just a heads up, this might be a bit lengthy.
It started before I left. I thought my flight left was at 10:50pm Sunday night. Turns out, it was 10:50am Sunday morning. Which meant that I had to leave at 5am to go to LAX. I essentially lost a day. Saturday I was rushing to finish packing while my nieces were trying to spend their last few hours with me. I cried several times that day.
I got to the airport, got checked in and to my gate without any issues. I was mentally preparing myself for the 13 hr flight while also processing leaving my family. 4 years is a long time to be gone. I don’t know if you can fully be ready for that.
About an hour and a half into the flight we hit some turbulence. You might not know this about me but I absolutely hate flying. I take a dramamine and do my best to be asleep by the time we take-off. But with leaving so early in the morning and the adrenaline rush from leaving so quickly I couldn’t fall asleep. Anyway, the turbulence was pretty bad. All my mind could think about was “we are over the ocean right now! If anything happens we fall straight into the ocean!” I wasn’t panicking it but I was close lol! After a while the turbulence subsided and I was finally getting tired.
Usually the airplane food is tolerable. I have been eating animal-based for a few months now. That includes not eating processed foods and seed oils. The food was not settling well with me but eventually I was able to get some much need sleep. I remember looking at the flight clock and seeing that there was 41 minutes left. We’d be landing in Seoul. I had a 2 hr layover. Then I was just a 6 hr flight from Chiang Mai.
That was the plan anyway.
After I looked at the time I passed out. Not the fall-asleep-quick passing out. The losing-consciousness passing out. Next thing I knew the people next to me and the flight attendants were shaking me and asking if I was okay. From then I was in and out of consciousness for over an hour. I’ll spare the details but I ended up having to go to the hospital in South Korea. I believe sleep deprivation, dehydration, and stress caused me to have what looked like seizures. And the food definitely didn’t help.
I want to take a moment to express my deep gratitude to Korean Airlines. They took exceptional care of me. Going above and beyond to make sure I was okay. Someone from the airline stayed with me from the plane, in the ambulance and at the hospital. She was by my side the entire time. Not only that, she helped arrange for me to stay at a hotel and rescheduled my flight for the next day. Korean Air covered the cost of the hotel and rebooked my flight for free. I’ve only flown to Thailand on Korean Air and will continue to do so.
During all of this I felt abandoned by God. Why would he let this happen?
As I made it to Thailand and started the process of getting settled here I looked back and knew in the depths of my soul that Jesus was with me all along. Things could have gone way worse. But Jesus made sure I was taken care of. She might not know it but, that Korean Airline employee was used by God that day. I was too out of it to get her name but I will never forget her.
Finding solace at home
I had been looking for a house in the city for nearly two months before I got to Thailand. None of them worked out. My options at that point were to move into a home that was in the city but not a comfortable or enjoyable or live a bit farther out of the city to be in a home that would provide solace for me.
After a few hours of sleep on my first night here I met up with Mat from Expat Homes. He took me around town to look at houses. We looked at a few but I just didn’t have peace about them. As we got in the car to head back to the office Mat remembered a house that was for rent. It was not on the list of homes to look at that day. The owners are in the US. They planned on furnishing the home and charging a higher rent. But, Mat had an idea. He suggested that they don’t furnish the home, allow me to furnish it, and charge lower rent. They agreed!
So, I’m in a brand new home. The first person to live in it. It is in a new neighborhood with a huge international school. I couldn’t have asked for a better place to live. It’s a 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath. Super cute!
I don’t have furniture yet or I would show you some pictures. I did order some basics: bed, couch, dining table. It’ll be another week or two before they arrive. I’ll be sure to share some pics as the house comes together.
It’s been challenging to live in a house that is completely unfurnished. It’s coming together little by little. Just like my crazy flight experience, I can see Jesus right here in the middle of it all.
I got a motorbike! I know I have already saved hours of driving time. I absolutely love being on the bike. It’s freeing! And it saves time and money on gas. #winwinwin
What have I been up to?
I have been in Thailand about 3 weeks now. In that time I have found a home and working on furnishing it, bought a motorbike, filed for my work permit, visited some friends, went to church at the community center, and I’m figuring out how to do life here again.
It has been challenging yet fulfilling so far.
I can’t start working at the community center until get my work permit. I am scheduled to pick it up on 18 Dec. Until then I will continue working on getting my house together and adjusting to the pace of life in Thailand.
Keep in touch
If you would like to keep in touch there are several ways you can do that.
MarcoPolo, WhatsApp, Signal: 661.331.5128
Email: sara@missionthailand.co
instagram: @perhapsstateofmind
iMessage: essjaydubb@pm.me
If you would like my mailing address let me know. Snail mail is still a fun way to stay in touch :)
I am so very thankful for every person that has been praying for me. Your prayers are impacting my life in many ways. The home I live in. The peace of mind I have in the midst of chaotic moments. All the little things I can’t put into words.
Thank you!
FYI: After this newsletter I will send a Christmas update. Then I will send a newsletter every 3 months or so.
Looking forward to all that God has for me here!
